Movie Review
An American Carol 

By Chuck Nordstrom for Cheshire County Republicans

If you liked David Zucker’s “Naked Gun” and “Airplane” movies then you will really like his latest production,  “An American Carol”. Written with the same zany, irreverent, often over-the-top humor that made Zucker a master of that genre, An American Carol is a worthy successor to his previous films.

However, I should offer a word of caution to some of you: If you like his previous works, but you hate George Bush, the War on Terror, anyone belonging to the Republican Party or conservatives in general, then please don’t see this movie. It could be hazardous to your health especially if you have a weak constitution (something most liberals prefer, it seems, for their country). This movie is guaranteed to raise your blood pressure to dangerous heights.

On the other hand, if you have had enough of liberal Hollywood’s ceaseless attacks on religion, patriots, our soldiers, our history and anything else that speaks of what makes America great (except our money, of course, for which they seem to have an uncommon fondness), then this film will put a smile on your face, a spark to your eyes and a spring to your step.

Starring the irrepressible Kelsey Grammer of Cheers and Fraser fame as General George Patton, the movie effectively explores the all too plausible consequences of the extreme left’s agenda. Loosely based on the “Ghosts” in Dickens’ Carol, Patton takes Michael (Moore) Malone, played by Kevin Farley, brother of the late Chris Farley of SNL fame, on a no holds barred journey through American history from our own Revolution, through the Civil War, World Wars I & II, Vietnam and into a none too pleasant near alternate future. In it, Zucker portrays what a United States might look like today if our forefathers had been Left wing leaders like today’s.

There is one constant in the movie that might appeal to some – the main protagonist, Michael (Moore) Malone, is constantly getting slapped – first by Patton who simply says, “It’s what I do”.  The only unrealistic twist to the plot, in my opinion anyway, is the ending, but you will have to see the movie to find out if you agree with me.

In addition to the much despised Grammer, the film hosts a slew of soon to be despised Hollywood stars including James Woods as (Moore) Malone’s disgusted agent; Dennis Hopper as a gun-totting, ACLU hating judge; Leslie Nielsen playing himself as the narrator of the movie; Gary Coleman as Bacon Stains Malone, slave; Camille Grammer (Kelsey’s wife); David Alan Grier (seen here in Keene when he co-starred in Jumanji), playing Rastus Malone, also a slave; a surprising appearance by Paris Hilton as herself; Oscar winner Jon Voight as George Washington; and, Bill O’Reilly playing himself as an enthusiastic slapper of Malone. Barney Frank should have seen this film before going on O’Reilly’s show.

I heartily recommend this film but only to conservatives and very brave liberals with strong constitutions if there be such creatures. It is rated PG-13 for violence, language and, no doubt, political content.

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